


Inappropriate Comments

by SubtextEquals



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 10:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2266407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextEquals/pseuds/SubtextEquals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nasir makes an OKCupid account as a joke. He's about to delete it when he gets a certain message...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inappropriate Comments

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: meeting online au

Nasir created the account as a joke. It was just some stupid OKCupid thing. He’d heard all the stories. He wanted to amass some of his own and share them with his friends. Castus in particular found it amusing and well, Nasir liked it when Castus was amused.

As expected, after setting up the account Nasir was bombarded with the worst pick up lines, introductions, and comments about how his lips looked like they needed to be around this guy’s dick. Two nights in, Nasir decided he was through collecting the material for stories. But before he did, Chadara insisted she look at it first.

“Oh God, these are terrible.” She sipped at her coke as she leaned over Nasir’s shoulder. She nudged his hand away from the mouse and placed her own hand over it so she could scroll down of her own accord. “Well, this one is right, your hair has had a lot of cum on it.”

“It has not!” Nasir grabbed the mouse back from her. “I’m deleting this damn thing.”

“Wait!” Chadara wrestled the mouse back. “You got another message.” She paused.

Nasir just closed his eyes and shook his head. “I don’t want to see it.”

“No, Nasir, this one is actually reasonable.”

Nasir’s eyes popped open. “What?”

“Look, ‘I read your profile and I live in your area. I’m also interested in a relationship but wouldn’t mind getting to know you. I like...’ Nasir, this guy is actually sane!”

“What’s his name?” Nasir scanned through the rest of the message and, to his surprise, he was actually… kind of interested.

“Agron.” Chadara shoved at his shoulder. “Write him back!”

“Castus--”

“Oh fuck Castus, he’s been stringing you along for three months. Write him back!”

Nasir very calmly composed a message in response and sent it. He waited for a bit but nothing came.

“Maybe he’s not interested.” Chadara sighed. “Oh well.”

“Stringing me along?” Nasir asked, going back to Chadara’s earlier comment.

“Well, you two have been doing the 'will they or won’t they' dance for three months. That’s close en--”

Nasir had just gone to check his message again without looking at it.

“You got a response!” Chadara said.

Nasir turned back to read it and immediately his heart sank.

_Hey, sorry. My friend Mira set this up for me and sent that. I didn’t write it. But you seem alright for OKCupid._

Nasir sighed. Oh well. He started typing back. _It’s alright. I set this up as a joke. I didn’t think I’d get anyone reasonable on it._

The response came back almost immediately. _If it helps I can make lots of comments about my dick in you._

Nasir smiled. _No thanks, I’ve had my fill for the day._

_You’re really not making this not making comments thing easy._

_Sorry. I can tell your mind is in the gutter._

It went on and he didn’t even notice that Chadara had left him until she yelled goodnight.

 

Chadara was the only one to know that Nasir had met Agron on OKCupid. He liked to think of his friends as open minded people but he also knew that they could be absolutely vicious about these things. As a matter of fact, he only told Chadara that he was going on a date. But Chadara hadn’t kept quiet about it, which led to Castus seemingly good naturedly telling him to call if he needed to be saved.

He didn’t need to be saved at all. In fact, by about 11 that night he was in bed, flat on his back, with three of Agron’s fingers inside of him.

“Am I allowed to make comments about my dick in you now?” Agron asked.

Nasir grabbed Agron’s hair and jerked his head close so he could whisper against his lips. “Oh fuck yes, and more.”


End file.
